The Role of Repair: What to Do When You Get It Wrong
You will get it wrong with this child eventually — the rupture isn’t the dangerous part. Here’s what a real repair actually sounds like, and why it might teach more than perfection ever could.
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What to Do When They Push You Away on Purpose
When a child pushes you away right after a good week, it’s not rejection — it’s a test. Here’s what that push-away actually means, and how to respond without confirming his worst fear.
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Consistency Is the Only Currency That Works
You can’t buy trust from a child who expects to be hurt — but you can earn it, one boring, reliable Tuesday at a time. Here’s why consistency, not connection, is the currency that actually rebuilds a broken nervous system.
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What Expands the Window — And What Makes It Smaller
The window of tolerance doesn’t widen through coping tricks — it widens through predictability, co-regulation, and repair after rupture.
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How Trauma Shrinks the Window Over Time
A narrowed window of tolerance isn’t a kid being fragile — it’s a nervous system accurately recalibrated by years of real evidence.
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What It Looks Like to Be Inside vs. Outside Your Window
The window of tolerance explains why the same kid can be fine one hour and unreachable the next — and why neither version is a choice.
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What “Attention-Seeking” Behavior Is Really Seeking
“Attention-seeking” is the laziest diagnosis in caregiving. Here’s what the behavior is actually trying to secure — and why the label lets adults off the hook.